Franz Marie Cruz’s Diary

Quarter-life crisis — I thought I would be immune from this.  Five months ago, I was tucked in my happy, little, simple world of medical school.  I thought my life was already laid out in front of me.  I’d finish my internship, earn my MD, pass the boards, start my residency training with the long-term end goal of practicing my profession as a private specialist.  Syempre, I would somehow jumble in there finding a mate (nyarharharhar….) and starting my own family (but then, that’s an althogether totally  different blog topic).

My friends and cousins, most of them working, have at one point experienced the "QLC".  They suddenly started reevaluating their life, accomplishments, their job and their goals in life.  They contemplated on quitting their well-paying, decent jobs.  They bought books and forwarded emails on this subject.  I never fully understood them, anyway, until now. 

I find myself at a crossroad now.  My life pala isn’t as laid-out and planned as I thought it was.  There are just so many options!  I do not know which to take. Do I stay here and pursue my Ophtha application in PGH, start my 3-year residency training next month (kung tanggapin)?  But there are so many things that I still want to do! Taking a year off may not be such a bad idea after all.  I could travel, take the MLE, moonlight at Boracay(?), find employment elsewhere.  Or I could take USMLE and apply for a residency program in the US? or New Zealand? Australia? Or stay in the Philippines and apply at a different hospital and/or different specialization altogether (IM? Pedia? St Lukes? PCMC?). I don’t know.  I’m just scared of taking the wrong road, of regretting my decision someday.  My mom has been pushing me to take the MLE, she says it’s difficult to establish and maintain a private practice in the Philippines.  I should have the good sense to listen to her, after all, she is an urban specialist MD.  But then, life would not be easier abroad, away from my family and friends in a totally different culture.

Sometimes I’m thankful that I’m single.  My decision is my own.  I don’t have to consider anybody else’s plans/wants in mapping out my life.  But then sometimes I wish someone would decide for me.  Grrrr….

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 15th, 2005 at 10:06 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.